Me: Where were you yesterday?
He: Ah…the nurse’s office. I was sick.
He: Huh?
Second He: Dude! He saw you jumping the fence.
He: Shit…errr I mean sorry.
Me: You know what you have to do now, don’t you?
He: Ah…no.
Me: Confess.
He: Confess?
Second He: Confess. That’s cold.
Me: You have to go to the Dean’s office and confess your sins.
He: Really?
Me: I’m serious. I don’t want to write out a referral. Just go up there and confess that you ditched my class. You’ll get an hour detention. Your soul will be cleansed. You’ll feel so much better.
He: I feel fine.
Second He: You won’t if you don’t do it!
Me: Go.
He: What do I say?
Me: Just say you want to confess to your crimes in order to cleanse you soul. You might want to mention ditching my class. It’ll all work out.
He: I hate this. Good bye.
***
Office She: We got one of your students up hear wanting to confess to ditching your class! He’s babbling about cleansing his soul. This is a new one for us.
Me: Life is a beautiful thing.
Office She: We’ll process him and send him back.
Me: Thank you.
***
Me: How did it go? Feel better?
He: No. I’m mad.
Me: Why are you mad? Did they give you an hour?
He: No. I got a Saturday suspension.
Second He: That sucks.
Me: A Saturday for ditching one class and confessing to it?
He: Not exactly.
Me: What?
He: The Dean also got me for ditching English and for ditching Math twice! He had a jay-walking on me, too, but he let it go because I confessed.
Second He: You confessed to everything?
He: That’s what Smith said. I didn’t know…
Second He: You’re an idiot.
He: Can you get me out of my Saturday?
Me: Not likely. But don’t you feel better?
He: I felt a lot better before I came to this stupid class.
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