He: Good kick, Mr. Smith!
Second He: You got a double--way to go!
Me: Let’s go. Get a good kick and move me on to third! Woo-hoo!
(Sound of a ball being kicked and whizzing through the air.)
She: Go, Mr. Smith!
He: Look at him move!
Second He: Run around the shortstop! Don’t try to hurdle him!
She: Oh, no!
Second She: Oh my God!
(Extreme silence.)
He: Smith went flying through the air. Did you see him land!
Second He: That was hilarious!
She: Quick. He’s not moving!
(More silence.)
He: Smith’s not moving and his eyes are closed.
She: Maybe he’s dead.
Second She: Should we get the nurse!
She: Are we going to need a sub now? I hate subs.
He: What happened to his glasses?
Third He: They’re on third base.
She: Does that mean he’s safe?
He: Wait! He’s moving. His eyes are opening.
Me: I’m not dead, you morons!
Second He: We thought you’d broken your neck. Were you knocked out?
Me: No, I wasn’t knocked out! I was just resting.
Second He: That was hilarious!
She: Your eyes were closed!
Me: I was just taking a short nap. The ground is harder than I remembered it. Where are my glasses?
She: Here.
Me: What are you losers all standing around for? We have a game of kickball to win!
He: Here comes the nurse on her cart. She’s really hauling.
Me: Oh, no.
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